When it comes to mental health, it’s not always what’s said that reveals the struggle—it’s often what’s left unspoken. In a world where social media can make pain look poetic and curated smiles hide chaos, it’s crucial to ask ourselves: Are we really paying attention? Are we showing up in ways that matter?
This Talk About It Thursday, we’re diving into three essential questions that challenge us to be more aware, more compassionate, and more present when it comes to mental health.
1. How do I know when someone is genuinely struggling with their mental health?
It’s not always obvious. Struggles with mental health don’t always come wrapped in visible symptoms or bold declarations. Sometimes, it’s quieter—the friend who suddenly withdraws from conversations, the loved one who seems distant or irritable, the colleague whose light seems a little dimmer than usual.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s struggle looks different. Some people might keep pushing through, hiding the weight behind jokes and forced smiles, while others might openly express frustration or sadness. Trust your instincts when you notice changes. Are they isolating themselves? Do their texts seem less frequent, less vibrant? Are they suddenly overwhelmed by tasks they used to handle with ease?
Instead of assuming they’re just “going through a phase” or “being moody,” lean in with intention. Ask open-ended questions. “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter than usual. Is everything okay?” Sometimes, just the simple act of noticing can be the lifeline they didn’t know they needed.
2. How do I know when someone needs or wants help? Some folks don’t really say anything, so how am I to know when to act?
One of the most common barriers to helping someone struggling with mental health is not knowing when or how to intervene. Silence can be deafening, especially when it’s the only response you’re getting. Not everyone feels safe or comfortable expressing their pain, particularly in environments where vulnerability has been met with dismissal or judgment before.
You might feel like you’re overstepping or being intrusive. But understand this: sometimes, people don’t reach out because they believe no one will care, or worse—they fear being a burden. Your willingness to gently break the silence can make all the difference.
Instead of waiting for a direct “I need help,” look for cues:
Behavioral Changes: Are they sleeping more or less? Losing interest in things they once loved? Emotional Shifts: Do they seem easily agitated or unusually flat? Physical Signs: Weight changes, unexplained aches, or persistent fatigue. Social Withdrawal: Are they canceling plans, ignoring calls, or distancing themselves from support systems?
If you notice these signs, approach them from a place of compassion, not confrontation. “I care about you, and I’ve noticed some changes. Can we talk about what’s going on?” This invites them to share without feeling pressured to justify their feelings.
3. How should I show up for someone struggling, in a crisis, or who admits they are having self-harming thoughts?
This is where it gets heavy. Hearing someone admit they are having self-harming thoughts can feel paralyzing, but your response in that moment can be life-changing. First, take a breath. Ground yourself, because they need your steadiness.
When someone trusts you enough to reveal their darkest thoughts, listen without judgment. Don’t interrupt with solutions or try to minimize their pain. Say something like, “I’m here. I’m listening. I want to understand.” Sometimes, your presence is more valuable than your advice.
If they express thoughts of self-harm or suicide, stay with them. Don’t leave them alone. Encourage them to talk about what they’re feeling, and resist the urge to promise it will all be okay—because in that moment, it might not feel that way to them. Instead, acknowledge their pain: “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but I’m here. You’re not alone in this.”
Help them take the next step. This might mean calling a crisis line together, connecting with a mental health professional, or just being physically present while they make the call themselves. Offer to go with them to appointments or sit with them in silence if that’s what they need.
Final Thoughts: Your Presence Matters
We often worry about doing or saying the “right” thing when someone is struggling, but the truth is—it’s not about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about creating a space where they feel safe to unravel, knowing they won’t be met with judgment or abandonment.
This Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s commit to showing up. Let’s lean in instead of backing away. Let’s break the silence before it breaks someone we care about.
Remember, we don’t always have to have the answers. Sometimes, just saying, “I’m here for you,” is enough.
This Talk About It Thursday, share your thoughts. How have you navigated conversations around mental health with the people you love? What are some ways we can better support those around us? Drop a comment and let’s talk about it.
#TalkAboutItThursday #MentalHealthAwareness #ShowUp #YouAreNotAlone
Kae Jaye The Writer 